E-Day (E for Emma)

The time is near. In a matter of a few hours, my journey over the past nine months will see the light at the end of the tunnel. The past 41 weeks of waiting will finally see some fruition with the arrival of our second daughter...hopefully. My thoughts and feelings over the past few days have been a roller coaster ride. As of today, little Emma is 8 days late. Meg was also 8 days late 7 years ago...the only difference is Meg came out on her own after that time. This little one is still refusing to budge! By tomorrow, she'll be 9 days overdue and Dr Lim has advised that I be induced tomorrow morning.
I have not seen this pregnancy through with the best possible care. I haven't eaten all that well, all that healthily. Nor have I been sleeping well. I've had several major deadlines in the last one to two months and that has added to my stress level and lack of sleep. Although Emma has been very active all this while, much more so than Meg ever was, the guilt has been nagging inside me but of course it's too late to do anything about it now. All I can do now is pray that all is well and she is healthy and normal.
If I'd written this blog yesterday, it would've taken a very depressive tone. My head was full of negative thoughts, of all the possible scenarios that could occur, all bad ones. Today, although I'm still a little scared and nervous about what's going to happen tonight and tomorrow morning, I'm beginning to accept it and am looking forward to Em's arrival, rather than be afraid of it.
I don't want to be induced. Many baby websites I've read have said that the baby will arrive in her own time, and there is no need to induce...but as you can see from the pix above, I'm rather big, and that photo was shot two weeks ago. So I've grown more since then and the longer I wait, the less likely I'm able to give birth naturally. Doc has already warned me that a C-section is highly likely, if my cervix doesn't dilate, but he will try delivering me naturally first. I'm in two minds whether to take epidural or not. I didn't with Meg and I'm scared of needles. The pain was excruciating then, but with tonight's induction, the pain will no doubt be twice as bad. I would still want to try to bear it, but my only fear is that if my body doesn't obey and my cervix doesn't open up, I'd have to suffer the pain and still end up going for a C-section. I will just pray for Him to guide me and help me get through it, whatever the outcome. I prayed that by some miracle, she might arrive yesterday on her own accord, or even today, but there's no sign of that happening yet. I've talked to Emma to coax her to come out, but I guess she's got a mind of her own!
Well the clock is ticking and my goose bumps are appearing...I guess I'll just have to finish up packing and just leave everything in God's hands.