And Then It Was ... GONE!!!

She's been prodding her little tooth with her tongue for ages, willing it to dislodge just so she can see the Tooth Fairy. I told her the tooth fairy only comes when she is asleep and as I write, I hope she has dozed off so the fairytale can come true. She ran towards the car when we dropped by my mum's to pick her up at almost 11pm. Then she stopped short right beside the front passenger window where Yen was seated and proudly declared "Look at me!!!"
We knew immediately that her tooth had finally come off, having been wobbly and threatening to shed for weeks. Our advice that the longer her teeth stayed in tact, the better, didn't seem to make a dent on her.
The beginnings of her permanent jagged tooth has surfaced, only it's not aligned with her current set of teeth and seems to be growing slightly behind it. Besides being 'thrilled' all evening, and not being able to contain it, she did voice a slight disappointment that the tooth decided to fall on Wed night, rather than Thursday, being the last day of the year. "I don't want it to come out today! I want it to come out tomorrow!!!"

'I can't decide if I'm happy or sad about my tooth!"
"I Can't Believe It!!!"
"I STILL Can't Believe It!!!"
She bought this little treasure chest specially for the occasion. She says she is going to put all her milk teeth in it!

Ear Piercing

In the past year, Meg's taken to putting on 'earrings'...in sticker form. She looked quite nice in them and has been pleading for me to let her have her ears pierced, thanks to her friend Elizabeth at school, who recently got hers pierced and thus, Meg's insistence that she follow suit. So since it's the holidays and I did promise her that I'd let her do it after her K2 graduation concert, the day finally came and although she was rather afraid, she plucked up her courage and will surely and proudly tell you, if you ever ask her about it, that she didn't cry and it was not as painful as she'd expected it to be. I must say she was pretty brave but you take a look at the pictures and judge for yourself if her eyes glimmered with a little hint of a tear? Shh...I don't want to ruin her self-pride for putting on a brave front. The new earrings look nice on her. Shows what a 'hiao' girl she is (definitely not from my genes), to want to do this at such a young age, overcoming all fear and anxiety in the name of 'vain-ness'! Ah...but better now than later, cos I think kids tend to handle pain better than adults!
Notice her hand clutching for support...

Operation Pierce takes place.

The cringed look. Is it over? Still trying to decide if that was painful or not.

It wasn't so bad!!!

"I feel pretty...Oh so pretty!"

Goodbye to sticker earrings!!! Uh-oh, how am I going to sleep on my side tonight?!

Goodbye Marymount!

Well done Meg!!! She's finished with the first and easiest phase of her academic career. Now our real worry begins. I thought Primary 1 is relatively easy, but looking at my godson's (just completed Pr 1) work, suffice to say, 'it ain't what it used to be during our time'. I have trouble with some of her K2 Chinese work, and the Mathematics at this level was probably our level at Pri 3 or even 4! Well, one step at a time I guess.
On the whole, we are quite happy with Marymount Kindergarten. Not only is it a Catholic kindy - which was a major factor in deciding which one to choose - we like its open-aired classrooms, wide walkways and the knowledge she gained there. Although the teachers and principal kept changing, - something we didn't like - but at least the form teachers stayed with the kids til the end of the academic year. Would I recommend it to others? Yes I would. It might not be the best kindy around, but Meg learnt a lot and turned out alright in every aspect and it's thanks to the teachers and the environment at Marymount.
Now I await anxiously for her to being P1. It's going to be a big change for the entire family...

I should have photographed her outside of the (in)famous front steps of the school that's usually a human traffic jam during the 11.15am overlap of the am and pm sessions! Behind Meg is the path we take to the carpark above the slope.

She was allowed to wear butterfly wings on her last day. We usually discourage her from putting on something that would attract attention upon herself but this is probably one of the last chances she'll get so we agreed. There were others who wore similar wings too!

Lining up for her last performance of the year with her classmates. They sang and danced to "Little By Little, Day By Day", a lovely song.

A Fiery All Souls Day

A smokey sky greeted us as we approached the Choa Chu Kang cemetary at noon yesterday. We try to make it a yearly ritual to visit my dad's grave on his death anniversary and All Souls Day which falls on Nov 2, the day after All Saints Day. At first, I thought it was the candles and offerings that people left behind that must've ignited some grass that led to bigger flames, but there were actually pockets of grass fire, brought on, no less, by the scorching heat at high noon.
The kaypoh in me made me wander over to the source of the smoke to try to get some shots and low and behold, some SCDF firemen arrived at the same time. Pix opportunity galore! They paid no attention to me as I began to photograph them beating the flames out, cos I was using a compact camera, and they must've thought I was a harmless busybody. I made some shots and then went back to help my mum clean my dad's tombstone. The heat was unbearable but God was kind and about 10 minutes after we started, the clouds arrived and provided us with temporary relief.

Meg Graduates from Kindy!

The little one did us proud when she got on stage with her classmate, Thane, to introduce her class performance item, a dance to Aqua's "Cartoon Heroes". There was brief banter between the two and then they moved to their positions in a slick manner to join their other classmates. The dance was pretty impressive (our practice sessions with a crappy version of the song from youtube paid off) and parents like myself beamed from ear to ear. Actually, I was concentrating more on shooting some pix rather than actually watching her dance. Of course, one of my CF cards had to jam during her performance and I was anxiously trying to fix the problem. She then received her 'certificate' later on but I'm pretty sure it was a dummy cert, as I've yet to see the real one.
It's now on to the next phase of her academic life, Primary One. I think I'm more anxious than she is, worrying if I'm over taxing her if I sign her up for ballet and art class, in addition to her swimming, chinese and creative thinking classes! Am I kiasu or what?!

Meg with Thane
Shaking and hip-thrusting
The boy in front of her, Aaron, has declared that he wants to marry Meg when he grows up...we'll see... ;)
Meg and one of her several 'best friends', Bernadette with their teacher from pre-nursery, Ms Lok. She has been very caring towards Meg and has kept in touch with her all these years even though she doesn't teach her anymore.

Cycling on a gloomy day at East Coast Park

A dissatisfaction with my sedentary lifestyle compelled me to hit the park connector at East Coast with my bike last Monday, during a rare, consecutive four days off from work. I was prepared to go as far as my legs would take me, but since I was never very good at estimating, I ended up struggling on my return journey and am just getting over my soreness two days after the ride.
MJ scoffed at my lack of a proper 'easing in' regimen and said that I tend to do things in excess, which I'm inclined to agree. But once I'm in the mood for something, I just want to do it and not ponder over it too much. The grand distance covered: 29 km but over 3 hours. Rather pathetic I feel, but I stopped several times to take some happy snaps, check sms-es and calls on my phone, and also to rest. My spirit was definitely willing, but the body was just out of shape, literally.
I enjoy my rides alone, although I welcome anyone who wants to join me. But a solitary disposition every once in awhile is always a good opportunity for reflection.
Here's an example of what I think about, see and do when I cycle.

- Start off pumped up, on an adrenalin high, eager to set off without doing a decent warm up. Mistake No. 1.
- Try to get up to a decent speed, making sure my odometer has been reset and is functioning properly.
- Deeply inhale the fresh crisp air of the seaside.
- Phone rings.
- MJ asking for directions to a cake shop at Robertson Quay, breaks my rhythm.
- Saddle has slid too low, I stop again to raise it.
- Bite and suck water from the tube of my new hydration pack.
- Am back on my way, trying to remember which gears give more resistance and which less.
- Start thinking about the things that preoccupy my mind while trying to keep the pace.
- Take a quick glance at fellow cyclists who pass me by in the opposite direction and wonder if I have too much garb on, with my half gloves, helmet and hydration pack. I'd hate to be one of those who has lots of gear but can't 'perform'.
- Hit the airport runway, the longest straightest road in Singapore. This stretch is a killer with no end in sight.
- Ride beyond my previous distances and come to Changi Beach Park, a lovely, quiet place, quite scenic. (see pix)
- Stop to take some snaps. Waste too much time. The dark clouds roll in, I might get caught in a downpour.
- Set off again, determined to make it as near to Changi Village as possible. Mistake No. 2.
- Ride past Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, and the SAF ferry terminal.
- Get sidetracked again when I see planes flying pretty low, directly overhead. Makes a nice pix. Stop again. Mistake No. 3.
- Rain comes.
- Head back on an arduous long ride ahead.
- Make it back to my car, 3 hours after setting off. M dead beat. I think I just tortured my body. I'm going to have to pay for it.

In The Mood For Blogging

Three in a row, to make up for lost time. I'm a sucker for scenes like this. I just love shadow and light, especially when the shadows produce an interesting form, like this one I shot at the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) when I was there on an assignment. Sunlight reflected off the windscreen of a small car produced this interesting and rather dramatic effect. I was busy taking pictures of a wall instead of concentrating on the assignment at hand and I'm sure the people there were wondering if I ought to be a patient at IMH.

Meg turns 6!!!

The little one turned 6 at the end of July. She finally got her princess cake which cost me a whopping $105!!! She's been asking and asking for it since she was 3 and we finally relented cos this is the last year she'll be able to celebrate her birthday with cake cutting in class. Needless to say, she was super thrilled and had a tough time dozing off to sleep the night before. We'd always told her that the princess cake was expensive and there was no need for one when a simpler, cheaper one would suffice. We also tried the "less fortunate children who could not even celebrate their birthdays, let alone have a fancy cake" line. We tried to impress upon her that having a fancy cake was not important as it could be the source of envy for the other kids who might not be able to afford one. I must say the poor girl tried her utter best to understand our point but at the end of the day, she's just a kid and all she really wanted was her Disney princess cake. We figured we could instill the moral and social obligations later and gave in to her this one time. And then in the classroom next door to hers, we saw another boy celebrating his birthday with a handful of his five or so friends attending the extra curricular Chinese class. His cake was about 20cms long by 10cms wide, and the affair was a small one. Of course that made us feel worse...

A Minor Accident

My first reaction - like most people, I believe - was, "Oh S&*^"! The second was, "OMG is the guy hurt?" as I saw him tumble off his motorbike, landing on the ground. Before I could verbally or physically react, the chap was up on his feet, tugging at his motorbike, which was partially trapped under the left side of my car bumper. I had to reverse my car a little to allow him to fully pull his bike out and in a flash, he sheepishly raised his hand to motion a 'sorry', got onto his bike and rode off.
This happened on Tuesday at a busy traffic junction along a main thoroughfare known as Jln Tebrau in Johor Bahru. I was on my way back to Singapore after visiting my friend Lea and her baby, Yuxin.
It was my first mini accident with the Subaru. The whole incident was over in 30 seconds. I did not even react to the rider. I was expressionless mostly because it happened so quickly, and cos I was more concerned that no one was hurt. I suspected that the damage was just a scrape and not a major dent, judging from the noise I'd heard when he bumped into me.
I was preparing to move off when the traffic light turned green, and suddenly, out of nowhere appeared this motorbike which swerved into my path from the left and as I put the car in motion, clipped his bike and pinned it down. There was no way I could've avoided it cos I didn't see him until it was too late. I didn't even think to get out to ask for compensation of any sort, not that I would be successful in getting any, I suspect. The rider seemed ok, since he sprang from horizontal to vertical positions rather quickly and was concerned with making a quick getaway more than anything else.
So the best thing to do was just to drive off and not hold up traffic. The guy obviously knew he was in the wrong cos he acknowledged it, and sped off quickly to avoid having to face up to any sort of compensation.
Ah well, these things happen. Luckily no one was hurt, and I was in time to pick Meg up from school. Only later when I inspected the damage did I feel a little regretful cos it looked bad enough.
My last thought was, "thank God I'm not driving a Golf!"

Dad's 18th Anniversary

June 9 was my dad's 18th death anniversary. He left us when I was 20, just about a month or two before I received word that I'd gotten a place in NUS. I mention NUS because it was one of my dad's unspoken hopes that at least one of his two kids would make it to uni, especially when all three of his brother's kids did.
I remember the days that led to his death and the days immediately after quite vividly. I doubt if I'll ever forget them, but in case I do, this blog will serve as a reminder to my thoughts and feelings about the whole episode and is also a tribute to him, in written form as I was never the type to express myself to my family verbally.
Dad was due to go for his second major bypass surgery in June 1991. He'd had his first in 1980, back when open heart surgery was not common. I remember an Australian heart surgeon operated on the first two people to undergo major heart surgery back then, one of whom was my father. The surgery took an extremely long time, about 5-6 hours if I recall correctly. In those days, they literally sliced an opening vertically along your chest and also along one's thighs to harvest some veins from the leg. It was a very painful process and my dad took months to recover. So when it was time for his second one some 10 years later, he was very afraid of the pain he'd have to bear with again. Of course the doctors reassured him that bypass surgeries had come a long way and it was just 'routine' for people to go for a second one. The techniques had improved significantly and one would recover much quicker, with less pain.
I remember visiting him at the hospital days before his surgery. I remember the Wimbledon on the TV when we were with him, just hours before he suffered a massive heart attack, two days before he was to have gone for his surgery. I remember his doctor's decision to operate on him there and then, despite his heart attack. I remember his doctor's eyes were bloodshot red when he came to tell us he was going to operate. My mum and I weren't sure if that was due to his tiredness from lack of sleep or if he'd been in surgery all day. We did not dare entertain the thought that these possible reasons could have somehow contributed to an unsuccessful operation.
Just before the doctors began to operate, my dad suffered another massive heart attack. With this, our hopes and spirits just went spiralling but with prayer, nothing is impossible. We kept vigil all night, chanting the hail mary for hours and my mind was thinking thoughts which, til this day, leaves me with a guilty feeling that I've yet to reconcile with. All that night, different scenarios went though my mind. What if he died? Then the practical side of me started planning his funeral and everything else associated with a death. Til this day, a little part of me has always felt guilty that he died because I was thinking those thoughts, that I'd left him for dead already, when he wasn't even dead yet. It's like making something come true just by thinking about it. When those thoughts kept running through my mind, I tried very hard to push them out but when one has time on her hands, one's mind tends to run amok. I'm the sort of person who thinks more than she does, and my head is always filled with stuff that's not necessarily translated into words. A tormented mind of sorts. It's very unhealthy but that's just who I am. My dad was the same way, rather quiet and kept most of his innermost thoughts to himself. I guess I take to him that way.
I regret that he never got to see or know Meg. He would've doted on her to bits. He loved little children. It showed in his relationship with my cousin's son, Kevin. But that's life. You can't control what happens. You just have to make the best of the here and now, and make a change if it's not going your way. It takes courage and it upsets the status quo, but if you don't do something about it, you're going to waste your life away. Now if only I could take my own advice...
We try to go at least once a year to CCK to clean up my dad's grave. That's my mum who faithfully and tenderly does all the work, while I pretend to help.



I do miss my dad occasionally, but with time, these moments drift further apart.

Singapore Arts Festival 2009 - Opening Act: Helios II

Meg covering her ears as usual. She's half afraid of fireworks, half loves it!The humidity of last evening almost dampered the visual spectacle that opened Singapore ArtsFest 2009 at the Marina Barrage. Sweat and heat made me wonder how the French artistes survived in their costumes and being around the flames and under the stage lights. But of course true performers don't let things like the heat and perspiration bother them. It's all in the mind..yeah right...more like the armpits, between the toes and folds of fat! It was Meg's and my first visit to the barrage. The humidity really got us down and although the place is quite pleasant, and has a good view of the city skyline, we couldn't wait to get home for a shower. One of the highlights of the evening was the shot burst of fireworks and pyrotechnics. The act itself was quite good, with performers on stilts jumping rope the way school kids do! That was quite a feat though they too had some difficulty and stumbled. But being 'chin chye' Singaporeans, we clapped all the same and encouraged them on. Am not watching any other performances this arts fest (this one was free). Instead, I'm taking Meg to children's plays and shows durig the June hols. We're staying put at home, not travelling out of the country even though I would love to. Attempting to save some money.A rather underexposed shot of the city skyline, dominated by the Singapore flyer.

Birth and Marriage

The newest addition to the Yeow family, William, arrived on Friday, 13 March. I am relieved that the Yeow family name will continue with him, since the only other male Yeows capable of producing successors are his father, Eugene, my cousin, and my brother who is and will stay a bachelor, so one can count him out. My uncle Eddy, Eugene's dad, is my dad's older brother. The little one is a rather frowny baby but adorable all the same. He was asleep the whole time of our visit, and despite our great attempts to awake him with all fathomable but safe methods, he continued to slumber, much to his parents' dismay, cos that meant he would keep them up most of the night. Welcome to parenthood, Wendy and Eugene!

I attended a family friend's wedding anniversary recently. Aunty April and Uncle Denis are longtime friends of my mum's. They met when Aunty April and my mum worked together in Singer Sewing Machine Co. eons ago, and have kept in touch til today. They're one of my favourite couples and although we hardly keep in touch except for one annual visit during Chinese New Year, they will always have a special place in my family's hearts. I remember playing with their kids, Ping and Huey, who are one and two years younger than me respectively, whenever our mums met up. It's strange, the things one remembers sometimes.
I recall their Garlic Ave home quite vividly, and the cars they owned then, a white Mazda 626, a Citroen and later a Hyundai Excel which they would lend us every Chinese New Year without fail. That's something I will never forget...their kindness. True, they mostly had two cars at any one time but they were in no way at all obligated to lend one to us. I remember making my way to their home on CNY eve for many many years to pick the car up. I would be extremely excited each time to the extent that I would feel the tingles before I started the car. I also remember how either Aunty April or Uncle Denis would guide me out through the gates of their house and give a wave as I left. It was heaven to have a vehicle to do our visiting with and I would sympathize with people I'd see by the roadside trying to wave cabs down under the scorching heat that would make its unreserved appearance with every CNY. How lucky we felt.
They were also there when my dad passed away. Aunty April was with us when I first saw my dad's lifeless body on the hospital bed and burst into tears. My emotions were unstoppable and I remember wiping my tears and snort with my hand and then wiping it on my jeans, and her hand offering me some tissue. She drove me to the Singapore casket to settle the funeral arrangements and I remember her asking about our finances and if we needed help while we were in her car. I will never forget these periods of my life and the friendship the family has given us throughout the years. They're obviously very well off but are very humble and mix with the likes of middle class folks like us, which speaks volumes about themselves. I thank them for their friendship, and raise my glass to the both of them, on this occasion of their 38th wedding anniversary. I wish them many more years as a couple and as our lifelong friends!

B&Ws

My love for black & white film was rekindled recently when I found and processed a couple of old, stale rolls of film exposed from way back when we were still in the US, specifically New York. I got them scanned and just love the grain and the gritty feel black & white pictures give. Here are some samples. These were shot with my leica M6 with 35mm lens along the streets of downtown NY, a stone's throw from Katz's Deli. The light in that part of the world is just priceless.

Meg - Series I

Here's what our soon-to-turn-six-year-old looks like now. Still a bit on the skinny side. One can see her ribs when she's shirtless. I wish I could pass her some of my weight!!! These pix were shot by MJ when we went to the new Sengkang Riverside Park last Sunday. Quite a nice place, not too crowded with ample parking.